Military Monday: While He's Gone

A little late getting this up... but I'll blame it on the fact that Monday was a "government" holiday so Brig didn't have to work, and then today I spent a lot more time at the dentist than planned. I'll have to post more on that later. We had an eventful weekend.

So, the theme of the day was how to keep busy while your military member is gone. I really liked the advice that Cat gave on her blog. There were 8 different suggestions she listed and I think that all were really informative regardless of what branch of the military you are apart of.

Make that regardless of who you are. More than just military families deal with separation. I have loads of friends who have been apart for various reasons. Church, work, and school have all taken people around the world on all sorts of crazy adventures.

I have actually been thinking a lot about this topic lately.

I've been lucky so far, and the periods where Brig and I have been separated have been relatively short and not too hard to handle. However, there is the looming deployment in our future. He was actually tasked to leave back in April, but that got cancelled. It has been so wonderful having him here the past 6 months.

But his bucket opens up in December. That basically means that whenever a tasking comes down the line during this time, Brig can get assigned to it. And he will most likely be the first to get tasked in his group right now because he didn't go last time. He's practically the only officer in his group right now that hasn't been recently deployed or already has a deployment lined up.

So, we're playing the waiting game.

We are just waiting until we find out when he will be leaving.

Which is why I have been thinking a lot about this topic lately. And since I liked all of Cat's suggestions... I'm going to use them. Hope that's okay!

1. Make some goals

I originally did this when I thought Brig was getting deployed back in April. I made at least two goals in the areas of physical, mental, social, and spiritual. I knew that I needed to have something to work towards during this time period.

I also made a project list. I wrote down all the different projects I wanted to try and accomplish while he was gone. Some of them were special projects that I came up with specifically for Brigham.

Last year Brig was in Ukraine with the Air Force and I went a little crazy with the projects. But it was so worth it. Although I missed him terribly, I had something special to give him when he got back. The big project I tackled was a rock climbing quilt. For those that don't know, Brig is a little obsessed with rock climbing. He LOVES it. So, with some assistance from my mother I made him one of the coolest quilts I have ever made in my life.

So set some goals...

2. Stay connected

One thing that has helped me get through the separations (and that will help us get through the many to come) is being able to talk to each other either on the phone, or video chatting on the computer. Sometimes it isn't possible to communicate in these ways, so letters, emails, packages, etc. are a great way to stay connected.

One of my really good Air Force friends sent her husband a package each month during his deployment. She had all the boxes set up, with a special card, and then sent him his favorite home-made cookies with other odd and ends he needed. I remember how excited she was when she told me she had one box left.

3. Stay positive

I won't lie. This is hard sometimes. And there will definitely be hard days. But I believe that we were put on this earth to experience hard things. This life is a test. If you let them, these hard experiences can build you up, and make you stronger. I really like what Cat said. "You never know how strong you are until you have to be."

4. Educate yourself

This one is important because it isn't just your spouse that is apart of the military. I've heard this so many times. And I believe it too. It's important to know the ranks, the proper etiquette, the jargon, the perks, and the nitty gritty ins and outs of your branch of the military.

Knowing your stuff makes military functions a lot less awkward too. When you are educated about the military, you don't have to be so afraid that you are going to screw up or do something wrong and get in trouble.

I also believe this is a career long process. There are so many little nuances related to the military, and if you were to tackle even one area, lets say... acronyms, you would have your work cut out for you. I'm hoping that one of these Military Monday themes will eventually be about acronyms. Boy are there a lot of them. :)

5. Learn about OPSEC

OPSEC stands for Operational Security and basically means that you keeps confidential things confidential. This is so critical because you can jeopardize the lives and safety of those serving and protecting our country. And your freedom.

6. Get involved

With this one, I think that the main point is to build your support system. It could be your church, your family, current friends and associates. And there are so many opportunities for you to get involved in the community and even within the military.

For the military, the Family Readiness Group (FRG) is a great place to start. They usually have all kinds of information about various things you can get involved in. They offer a lot of different services as well. For example, all those that live on base up here in Anchorage can have all your snow removal taken care of while your military member is deployed. And my husbands group even makes sure that is taken care of if you live off base too. Score!

I'm also planning on getting involved with the Officer Spouses Organization. It'll be nice to get to know other Air Force spouses and get out once in awhile.

Something else we do up here is called the Key Spouse program. Basically what will happen when Brig gets deployed is that another military wife will get assigned to me as my "Key Spouse." They make sure you know what is going on, and that you are taken care of. I like to think of them as your military guardian angel.

7. Learn to be the man (Or wo-man if you are already a man...)

When Brig leaves, I'll have to do all of the things that he normally does around the house. I'll have to play two roles during that time, and knowing that ahead of time can help you prep for what's about to come.

8. Get a new hobby

I did this even when we weren't officially separated. It's quite the adjustment to go from a full time student and working to all of a sudden staying at home all day long. Where once I was busy, busy, busy, I suddenly became very much less busy. I guess I'm still "busy"... just in a different way.

So I picked up crocheting. It pretty much saved me from dying of boredom when I went with Brig to his training in Ohio.

I've already given this advice to others that are accompanying their spouse to various trainings.

Well, somehow these Military Monday posts always turn into extremely long babblings. So, take from it what you will and enjoy those hard times ahead!